21 years ago, I was sharing my excitement with a trusted and highly intuitive friend (Love ya, Laurel!) about the Conversations with God series by Neale Donald Walsch and pretty much everything by Deepak Chopra. And she calmly said, “You know you’ll be writing a book, too, right?”
It was 11 years before I’d publish anything. At that time, I could only respond with, “No. I didn’t know that, but thank you for telling me!”
Mr. Walsch’s work helped open my mind to a loving, non-judgmental God, and Mr. Chopra’s mind-body connection work spoke more to what I felt was my professional mission—until my work with Empaths and Highly Sensitive Persons superseded it!
The mind-body connection, or as he called it, psychoneuroimmunology(of course, he sounded much cooler than I when saying that word because of his Indian accent!) succinctly summarized, is the idea that our thoughts can boost or destroy our health. For many, this was new and even a bit radical at that time. Now it is widely accepted by most persons who’ve sought any type of alternative or supplement to Western medicine. Since then, psychoneuroimmunology has been expanded in numerous ways. Specifically, for myself and most of my empath/HSP clients and readers, we’re acutely aware that a tangible connection exists between each person that can also boost or weaken our energy and thus, our health. Meaning, as an empath or Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), we know through experience and observation—not just belief—that we can actually absorb and take on the thoughts, emotions, energies, memories and even experiences of others—for better or for worse. AKA…
We’re all connected.
Around that time, I’d been doing small lectures and workshops about mind-body medicine for roughly 30—40 people at each event via the Learning Annex, NYC’s premier adult education facility. (I got in there with some serious divine guidance and a few lessons in non-attachment, but that’s another story.) I’d also already begun working with clients in a new way, getting all my facts and experience so that I could write about it and become famous (Yeah, I know... lame! But that's what I was seeking at that time!), just like the many new age teachers I’d read about who also said that if I took all the right manifestation steps, I could be among. My ego grasped onto that thought like Velcro.
My intuition was growing at these events to the point where I stopped using any notes, and then took it a few steps further by offering random readings and healing on attendees. That experience, along with meditation and continued self-education, spurred my first book about the mind body connection. I thought I had a unique angle on it as I grew up in a family where the head of the household was a pharmacist. I’d learned that pills were the answer to pretty much any pain or illness, but as an adult eventually saw that although pharmacology has its place, it’s far from the only and best answer to everything.
I somehow got the idea that if only Deepak Chopra would read this book and endorse it, I’d be set. And I believed that I could make this happen somehow. (That “somehow” I can now call, ego! Ha!)
Here’s where the Universe decided to have little bit (more) fun with me.
I soon thereafter had lunch with a wonderful friend. She invited along a friend of hers, who it turns out, worked with Mr. Chopra! I thought this was my ticket, and based on all the things I’d been reading about manifestation, thought I was pretty swift and skilled in manifesting this meeting. Except for one thing. One huge thing. This gentleman responded to my request with, “I wish you luck in writing your book, Dave. But I can’t ask him to endorse your work for you.”
I was shocked, and disillusioned. Ego bubble burst. I was also sad and confused.
A short time after that, I met someone else who knew Mr. Chopra, and guess what? She had the same response.
This happened a few more times over the next few months. I know, right? Cray!
The book went through many incarnations, and eventually became Healing with Source, and was signed by Findhorn. It went to number 3 on the bestseller’s list in the first week without any help from Dr. Chopra. So, part of me figured I was done with that pipe dream endorsement. I gave up on getting his validation. And then, the head of the Learning Annex called me and said, “Welcome to the big leagues, Dave”
“Huh?”
“Well, your workshop attendees love you, and you’ve consistently been one of most popular teachers (I had no idea!), so now we’re putting you the same lecture bill with… Deepak Chopra. We’re expecting 5,000 people at the Javits Center. Can I count you in?”
“Um... er... uh...” (Intuition, please take over my raging thought brain.) “Yes, of course, I’ll be there!”
So now I’m thinking that I and all the other bigger name speakers would be hanging out in the green room, yucking it up over chakra teas and sage, and I’d be on the lecture circuit of biggies from now on, oh, and probably working at the Chopra Center with my mentor who didn’t know I existed but was about to get chummy with.
Nope. Strike number… Aaahhh, who’s counting? :-)
Didn’t even meet the guy. He flew into JFK, they picked him up, he did his thing. He left. Badda-bing, badda-boom, no Deepak in the room.
It wasn’t meant to be. I gave up on meeting him. Said goodbye to trying to get an endorsement by him or even working at the Chopra Center—even though I was the only one that day that got a standing ovation. Granted, it was after an exercise where I had everyone stand up for some basic mind-body training, but still.
;-)
Remember before where I said that the Universe decided to have little bit more fun with me? Well, now I thought the joke was over.
It wasn’t.
Later at the Javits Center event, a young man approached me. He looked me directly in the eye with so much presence and love. I knew he was someone very special. He introduced himself as the son of Mr. Chopra’s business partner. He saw me on stage and had some of the kindest words I’d ever heard about me and my work. He asked if we could stay in touch. "Of course" I replied.
I guessed my dream of getting that endorsement was still in the matrix, but not yet fully realized. “Okay, I can wait.”
A few months later, he invited me to the Chopra center, not to work but to take a course he felt would be of benefit to me. Ok. I’m in. Surely this would be my “in” to hanging out with my mentor. And during this course I met two other women, one of whom already knew Mr. Chopra well, and another who eventually became close friends with him. Once again, my ego thought this was the Universe sending me on a very indirect route to getting that endorsement—or job! When I finally got a chance to speak with Mr. Chopra, I told him that we’d already shared the stage at the Javits Center. He was not only unimpressed; it looked like he didn’t even remember speaking at the Javits Center.
Okay, I can take a hint. Or could I? It only took several potential meetings, connecting with uncountable mutual acquaintances, but eventually it hit me.
Me. Me. Me.
It was all about me!
I’d been blinded by the idea of fame, not much different from the me playing guitar in so many bands prior to my current career, thinking I’d “make it” that way. Being a rock star in music was my ticket to fortune and the admiration of millions to fill a void in me I didn't even know I had.
I got a little angry. How dare those new age teachers convince me I could be one of them! Or did they? Is that what I thought I heard or what was actually said? And did that matter any longer? The dream was based on a fallacy: that I had to be well known, booked months in advance, and of course, wealthy. All of these fantasies, were, ultimately, what I had imagined would be my way of...
…getting love.
And isn't that what we all want anyway? It just looks different to different people.
As you may have already ascertained, ego had me a lot more concerned on my name being well known than I was focused on doing quality work. And even if I were ego-less, or ego-free, there still were too many variables at play to guarantee my desired outcome. Even if I had connected with Mr. Chopra, who’s to say he’d like my work? He may have said, “Nice try, kid. Now go write something else” like my Creative Writing teacher said to me when I did my own versions of what they assigned. (Wasn’t the class called, "CREATIVE writing"?!?) Mr Chopra may have even had a hatred for my New "Yawk" accent!
;-)
Through experience and observation, I was able to see that we get sent the perfect teachers to promote our growth—just like those new age authors said would happen! In some cases, like this one, over and over in different forms to give us (me) a lesson that I stubbornly but eventually got.
The bigger picture, the deeper truth, is that if I work with 1 person a week or 100 people via private sessions and group work—or thousands through my books—it doesn’t matter. The only thing that really matters is that I be as loving and compassionate with any and all who I come in contact with. Not to seek love; rather, to know that love is our inherent essence. To co-create space for healing and connection, and deep transformation. To notice the ego’s many tricks, and embrace them to reduce their power. And maybe even enjoy the Universe’s (in)direct messages that sometimes say the same thing over and over—until I/we get the hint.
They say to follow your bliss. But what if your bliss is eating ice cream and vegging on the couch for a few months? Or listening to intuition that is clouded with ego like the path I described above?
What follows “Follow your bliss” that is too often forgotten about is, “for the highest benefit of all.”
When I follow that fuller sentence I never worry about where my next client is coming from or how to reach them. Rather, they find me in sometimes miraculous ways: "I was walking in a bookstore and your book fell off the shelf and onto my foot" for example. "I did a random search on the Internet" as we both laugh knowing that nothing is random.
When I'm working for (or being) “for the highest benefit of all” the need to be loved is gone. The need for fame is nonexistent. Instead, I'm in bliss giving various forms of healing, transformation and unconditional love to people who are reaching out in need.
We’re all in this—all of this—together.